three words: a “100 tula para kay stella (100 poems for stella)” word vomit

[Warning: spoiler ahead]

He has a speech defect. To speak smoothly, he’s told to limit his sentences to just three words.

He meets a girl that became his world. Nevermind her imperfections, she deserves the best of everything.

He decides to write her 100 poems to tell her he loves her – 100 poems about her physical beauty, her irresistible personality, and her “undeniable greatness.”

A hundred poems of his disillusionment of her.

A hundred poems that took four years to complete.

As sweet, touching and grand as it was, the 100 poems didn’t give him her “Yes.”

With a ring on her finger and a baby on the way, it’s already too late.

(So driven is he in completing his 100 poems for her, he froze her in a world he has made in his head, forgetting that she too is living in the same world as him.)

Writing 100 poems that don’t even mirror who she really is – her struggles, her flaws, her brokenness – has been totally unnecessary.

She pointed out him all he needed were three words:

“I like you.”

“I love you.”

All along he already had what he needed to win her heart:

THREE WORDS.

Three words are what he does best. Yet, he failed to use them when he should’ve had.

So mindful of his speech defect, he forgot the things he has – his impressive smarts, his singing voice, and his good heart.

So focused is he in making himself better for her, he failed to recognize the amazing things about himself.

So concentrated is he in his flaws, he has made things complicated for him.

He made her so “perfect” in her mind that he thought he has to just at least come close to her “perfection.” Little did he know, he got everything together better than she does.

He never really knew her.

He never really saw her for who she is.

The her that he knew is the her he put together in his mind, in his poems – the her that became his world. He thought 100 poems are needed to make her fall in love with him.

Fortunately, she knows who she is. She doesn’t need 100 poems to fall in love with him.

She knew him.

She saw the heart amidst the speech defect and loved him for it.

From it, she knew it can never be them. It can never be him for her. It can never be her for him.

From it, she straightened him out: she told him she doesn’t deserve to be his world.

No one is. No one should be.

“wanting to be alone (come with me)”

I want to be alone, please come with me.
No need to do anything, just sit beside me.
Talk all you want, I’ll listen to what you’ll say.
Even if my mind wanders at the world’s end.

I want to be alone, please come with me.
We don’t have to go far, anywhere will do.
Just as long as I can lean on your shoulder.
Tears running down as I cry my heart out.

I want to be alone, please come with me.
But forgive my entangled confused thoughts.
There’s no need to burden yourself with them.
So just erase them from your head afterward.

I want to be alone, please come with me.
Allow me escape the heaviness of this world.
Even for just awhile, let me rest and breathe.
Until the time for us to go back home arrives.

— — —

Gusto kong mapagisa, samahan mo ako.
Wala kang gagawin kung hindi ang makiupo.
Magkuwento ka lang, ako sa’yo’y makikinig.
Kahit ang utak ko’y nasa dulo ng daigdig.

Gusto kong mapagisa, samahan mo ako.
‘Wag na tayong lumayo, pwede na kahit saan.
Basta ako’y makakasandal sa iyong balikat.
Lumuluha habang ang puso ko’y umiiyak.

Gusto kong mapagisa, samahan mo ako.
Ipagpaumahin mo ang isip kong gulong-gulo.
Hindi mo naman sila kailangang intindihin.
Kaya pagkatapos sila’y iyo na lang limutin.

Gusto kong mapagisa, samahan mo ako.
Hayaang takasan ko ang mabigat na mundo.
Kahit saglit makapagpahinga at makahinga.
Hanggang oras ng pag-uwi’y dumating na.

— — —

I haven’t written poetry for a long time. Well, I did last year, but this one came in more naturally. Thanks to the recent needs that surfaced, the urge to write poetry was triggered.

I wrote this piece a week ago (or was it two weeks ago?), but I didn’t get into proofreading and posting it until now. I guess watching a movie with a character who loves writing poetry is a good encouragement.

“100 Tula Para Kay Stella (100 Poems For Stella)” is a movie worth the wait and risk.